5 Signs to Help You Determine If He’s Flirting or Just Being Nice

Ever caught yourself wondering, "Was he flirting… or just being polite?" You're not alone. In many social situations, especially after reconnecting with someone, you might sense a vibe, a certain warmth or interest. But how do you know if it's genuine attraction or simply good manners? Confused?

Here are five key signs to help you determine if a man is flirting or just being nice, without jumping to conclusions or getting overconfident.

Flirting often comes with focused attention. If remembers details you mentioned earlier, or frequently directs his conversation toward you, that’s a clue he might be interested. 

On the other hand, if he's warm and chatty with everyone, male or female, it may just be his natural way of being friendly.

Usually flirty conversations shift into personal territory. If he starts asking about your love life, your dreams, or things you care deeply about, he could be trying to build a deeper connection. 

But if the conversation stays light and neutral, talking about general topics, it may just be politeness, especially if it’s brief. 

Nonverbal cues can say more than words. People who flirt tend to hold longer eye contact, lean in slightly, or mirror your movements. A soft touch on the arm, subtle smiles, or open body posture might also signal interest.

Compare that with someone who simply maintains polite distance, stands straight, and smiles occasionally, he's likely just being respectful, not flirtatious. 

After the meeting, does he message you, find ways to reach out, or suggest meeting again? Flirting often comes with follow-through. He won’t just disappear; he’ll want to keep the connection going.

If he’s simply nice, he might end the encounter with a smile and never reach out again. Kindness doesn’t always mean deeper interest.

Flirting sometimes includes playful teasing or mild boundary-pushing, like joking with double meanings or compliments about your appearance. This is a way to test if you’re open to more.

If he keeps the interaction respectful and doesn’t cross into personal or emotional space, he’s likely just being courteous.

Trust your instinct, but stay grounded. It’s easy to get excited or overthink subtle signals, especially if you haven’t felt a spark in a while. But remember: Flirting becomes clear over time, not in a single moment. Give space for the connection to unfold naturally.

By observing his behavior calmly and objectively, you can avoid unnecessary disappointment or ge-er (overconfidence).  

Let him show his true intent—not through a single smile, but through consistent effort.